Stained-Glass Tears

Nick continues to slowly improve from his biopsy. Today has been quiet. Nick spent the day resting and getting his bearings after the 48-hour marathon that was Friday and Saturday. Nick did not get much sleep last night so he has tired eyes. He has been using his pain button to keep his pain under control and this is also making him a little sleepy. Tomorrow will be a busy day for Nick as he may have to go for a CT scan and he might get his chest tube out. This would be a huge step in the right direction for sure. Once that tube comes out all of the others will fall like dominoes.

Last night was a little rough for me when I got home. I felt like I had gotten a little carried away with myself on my post...thinking that somehow he was going to be miraculously cured. Once again the gravity of Nick's situation hit me hard and the unfair reality of it just always makes me cry. Tonight I hope to get home a little earlier for I feel that lack of sleep is also playing into the volatility of my emotions. It takes an immense amount of emotional energy to reign in all of the emotions one experiences in a situation like this...I have been doing that for over a year now. It is like when the storm clouds start to roll in and the thunder starts to rumble in the distance, the signs are there that something big is about to jump off. When the rain finally comes it is bound to be a gully washer, but, when it is over, the sun emerges and hopefully the soul is cleansed and sometime you might even get a rainbow! The song reminds me of a more gentle rain...the kind of rain where you can sit on your porch swing and feel the breeze and listen to the music of the rain falling gently like tears from the sky.