“The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.” ~Mohandas Gandhi
The storm clouds gather on the outer reaches of my mind, a dark sky full of foreboding. I hear the distant rumble of thunder, a warning of danger slowly approaching. The wind begins to whisper, "Run away, run away, before the cold rain comes." I am frozen in fear, unwilling to move forward and unable to go back. There is nowhere to hide and so I will stand and let the rain wash away my tears.
I am sad tonight. I am often sad, too much thinking, too much reading, too much waiting, too much remembering. Has it only been two months? It feels like so much longer than that.
The waiting continues. We are waiting to hear that the donor has passed all the necessary physicals, testing, and questioning. We are waiting for the donor to agree to donate. We are waiting for a time-line to be set in motion. We are waiting to meet with the BMT team, sign consents, and start pre-transplant testing & harvesting of donor marrow. We are waiting for an admission date and the start of the infamous "preparative regimen" and the countdown to Day Zero.
While we wait, Nick has gotten stronger and is feeling better. His appetite has improved and he has been eating as much as possible with a goal of gaining as much weight as he can. Nick has been off to the ocean and out to dinner, reading books, and hanging out with Kate and friends. He is back to driving himself about the countryside and he gave himself a "haircut" today. Nick plans to hit the beach again this week to visit with family. The Chapa's will be in from Chicago and of coarse, we have to go all the way to Ocean City to visit with Uncle Dan & Aunt Cathy, who live only twenty minutes away.
We will skirt the edges of this storm for as long as we can. When we can no longer run, we will seek shelter in the love of family and friends.
1 comment:
Seester......it makes me sad that you are so sad. I will stand in the storm with you and wait for the sun to come out. And it will come out, we just have to believe it to be true and wait for the storm to pass. Can't wait to see you at the beach!
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