Holding On

Have the leaves started to change color already? It cannot be October already...the month of falling back and trick or treat. Has it really been almost five months since Nick was first diagnosed and almost two months since his BMT? Tomorrow will be Day #43 post transplant!

Nick has been showing slow but steady improvement in his appetite, his energy level and even his color. He has been eating better and feeling stronger each day. Nick's counts have also been showing improvement with each passing day. His last visit to the IPOP was on Thursday and his neutrophil count was up to 693! The fever has been kept at bay with continued IV antibiotics around the clock and the anti-fungal by mouth. The Vancomycin was stopped a few days ago and Nick's body seemed not to mind. If he continues to do well, they will take other medications off one at a time and see how he does. I pray that these are all signs that he has really started to turn the corner, but, I am still holding my breath for a while longer.

Nick was given a brief reprieve this week and we were actually "off" from IPOP this past Wednesday and Friday! It was a nice break from the daily routine of driving back and forth to IPOP and we both got to sleep in on Friday morning! The Thursday appointment was very long, due to lots of patients and not enough nurses. Nick was really only there to get blood drawn, but, we still had to wait around for almost three and a half hours before we could finally head for the hills.

The weekend brings a new set of "Mom worries" as Nick is off to the IPOP with friend Zeke and then to Kate's house for the weekend. It is so hard for me to let go of my patient. I only want him to be safe. Nick & I debate the pros & cons of this decision, but, ultimately I am over ruled. I want him to be free, but, I also want him to be safe. I will never be able to make him understand this and so I must accept and pray that all will be well while he is back out in the world. I trust Kate to take good care of him for she knows all that he has been through.

“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”