Here are two of my favorite Easter babies. This is our first Easter without Nickolas. It is very strange and sad. When I was working as a nurse when the kids were young, I always had to work on Easter. We had to do every third weekend back in those days and for YEARS, my weekend fell on EASTER. I remember putting their baskets together and writing in their cards and being so upset that I couldn't be with them. This picture was taken at Pip and Nana's house. Glenn would take them over for the Easter egg hunt and dinner. This is Nick and Sara in the back yard looking for eggs. Obviously, Sara was pretty young because she is still wearing dresses! And then there is my little man Nick with his dapper penny loafers! I missed so many of those Easter memories when the two of them were little. I don't even remember last Easter. All I know is that Nick was in the hospital for all of March and April and Easter fell in there somewhere. Now all I can think of is my son's sweet face and how there won't be any more Easter memories for us with Nick. I made a basket for Sara last night. It doesn't feel right not making one for Nick. It is such a horrible realization each time I think about Nick being gone. No Easter basket needed. No Easter card needed. Another Mom who also lost her 20 year old son Grant to leukemia a little after Nick told this story on Grant's Caring Bridge site. She told of how she had gone shopping and she put three chocolate bunnies in the basket without even thinking. Then she realized what she had done and she said, "I still have three children in my heart." And I still have two children in mine. I am so sad. I miss you Nickolas. It will never be the same without you near. I love you always, Mom.
April 04, 2010
Good Eggs
Here are two of my favorite Easter babies. This is our first Easter without Nickolas. It is very strange and sad. When I was working as a nurse when the kids were young, I always had to work on Easter. We had to do every third weekend back in those days and for YEARS, my weekend fell on EASTER. I remember putting their baskets together and writing in their cards and being so upset that I couldn't be with them. This picture was taken at Pip and Nana's house. Glenn would take them over for the Easter egg hunt and dinner. This is Nick and Sara in the back yard looking for eggs. Obviously, Sara was pretty young because she is still wearing dresses! And then there is my little man Nick with his dapper penny loafers! I missed so many of those Easter memories when the two of them were little. I don't even remember last Easter. All I know is that Nick was in the hospital for all of March and April and Easter fell in there somewhere. Now all I can think of is my son's sweet face and how there won't be any more Easter memories for us with Nick. I made a basket for Sara last night. It doesn't feel right not making one for Nick. It is such a horrible realization each time I think about Nick being gone. No Easter basket needed. No Easter card needed. Another Mom who also lost her 20 year old son Grant to leukemia a little after Nick told this story on Grant's Caring Bridge site. She told of how she had gone shopping and she put three chocolate bunnies in the basket without even thinking. Then she realized what she had done and she said, "I still have three children in my heart." And I still have two children in mine. I am so sad. I miss you Nickolas. It will never be the same without you near. I love you always, Mom.
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5 comments:
Dear DIane,
What a cute picture. Remember how everyone use to dress up for Easter. You may have had to work on Easter, but your presence was always with the kids. This morning at Mass, I thought about how this was your first Easter without Nick. I prayed to Nick to please give you a sign that he is happy and healthy again. I am so sorry you only had to make one basket. But, remember Diane you will always have 2 children. I hope Nick gives you a sign today. My Easter wish is that you find some peace.
Love,
Mary E.
You're right, it will never be the same but I'm hoping that next Easter will be a better one for you.
I do believe in my heart of hearts that because of Easter, Nick is at peace in heaven and he is with you even now. I can't explain it. It is faith. I doubt and I get angry and I cry, but deep in my heart I believe in Jesus and what he did on the cross and that he did it so that Nick and all of us could have eternal life. I wish we could communicate with those on the other side. Maybe they are communicating with us, but unfortunately in our imperfect and weak mortal states we are unable to hear them? I don't know and I hate that we don't have all the answers. I only know that in this moment on this Easter day, I felt like I had to share with you that this is where my thoughts took me after reading your blog. Love you lots, Vic
I love this picture! The kids look so cute. I sympathize with missing the holidays. That's the medical field for ya!. Happy birthday Big D! I love you!
Diane, read your recent blog and couldn't help but think about my daughter, Kristi,all dressed up for Church and then the easter egg hunt. What fun, it seems like yesterday!! These are such fond memories that we all share as parents. I bet Nick was using his engineering brain to collect eggs and share them up in the blue skys.I wonder if they taste as good? Thinking about you and hope each day will make you stronger. Linda
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