Hey everyone out there in the blogosphere. Sorry I haven't posted in a few, but, I have been tired and sad and busy running up and down the roads with Nick. My big 'ol Top Cat, "Mickey" passed away the other day. Sara & I miss him so much already. He was named after Mickey Mantle and he has been with us for fourteen years. He had been ill and I had just taken him to the vet to find out he had some serious heart problems. I knew he wasn't doing well and it was just a matter of time, but, he died alone here at the house, while I was off at the hospital. That made me very sad. I guess it was just a trigger for me to let out all the sadness and frustration I have been feeling in other areas of my life. It is funny how attached one can become to one's animals. Nick told me that Mickey is in a better place now, "kitty heaven." I'm not so sure. I already have people offering me kittens, but, I can't have any new animals in the house until Nick is well.
Nick has been having a really rough time of it these past few weeks. Since he has been home, Nick has been feeling really down in the dumps both physically and mentally. This latest setback with the fever and hospital admit has hit us all hard and while he is still doing well, there is for me a bit of uneasiness that makes me wonder...are we still headed in the right direction? Or, have we veered off the path and we will soon be encountering that ugly troll guy! Nick has not been able to eat in days. His weight is down to 154 pounds. Nausea and stomach "pain" have been plaguing his days of late. None of the doctors or nurse's have anything to offer on this and the anti-nausea meds don't really seem to be helping. In the meanwhile, he must continue on his antiobiotics and the anti-fungal (AmBisome), which are extremely hard on his system. He tells he doesn't feel well several times a day and I just don't know what I can do to help him get over and through this time.
After his discharge on Saturday, we returned to IPOP bright and early on Sunday morning to discover that Nick's ANC count had dropped in one night from 600+ to 60! No one has been able to give us any kind of a good explanation for this drop in his counts. His other numbers are stable, but, his liver enzymes are also elevated. The nurse practitioner that is filling in for our regular NP was concerned that another infection was causing Nick to "chew up" his neutrophils. She sent Nick for another sinus CT which was unchanged (although there is an area of concern that no one mentioned to us because "they" think it is nothing). They drew CMV titres to see if that is what is causing the problem, although he has been negative for CMV all along. The only good thing is that Nick has been without fever for several days now. We continue the antibiotics around the clock at home.
I want Nick to be well and be happy. It is so hard to see him go through this right now. I have to keep reminding myself that it is only Day #34 post BMT and that is still so early in the process. I just want him to be able to EAT so he can start getting his weight back up and get some energy. I truly feel that this is a big problem right now as he is unable to keep much down and his stomach is queasy all the time. Today his entire food intake consisted of about 9 tater tots....literally. He is trying to drink to stay hydrated (his creatinine was also elevated today, could be from the meds or lack of proper hydration) but, even getting fluids in him is tough. He is so tired all the time, he sleeps 12-16 hours/day; which doesn't leave many hours for eating!
I am finding the situation at IPOP to be very frustrating because there is no consistency of care there. We seem to have a different nurse every day and never see a doctor. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to what they do...while Nick doesn't like being inpatient, I feel the care is better and more encompassing. Anyway, I have to go pack up for tomorrow. I will try to post a more coherent story tomorrow.
What Is A Cat?
Gentle eyes
that see so much,
paws that have
the quiet touch.
Purrs to signal
"all is well"
and show more love
than words can tell.
Graceful movements
touched with pride,
a calming presence
by our side.
A friendship
that will last and grow -
small wonder
why we love them so.
Author Unknown
3 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about Mickey. There just doesn't seem to be anything to say except that I mourn with you. I'm sure I would be a mess with tears and emptiness. I'm glad he's not suffering and that he lived to a good old age. Thanks for loving him and caring for him so well. I wish I could take some of your burden, Diane, and carry it for you. Feel free to give me a job :)
Nick and I went to school together from kindergarten to graduation. I found out about his illness from another friend. We're wondering what we can do for Nick. If he'd like a visit, a book, a funny story, a fundraiser, etc...please let me know! He has many old friends who are thinking of him.
Warmly,
Suzanne Griger
JHS c/o 2000
suzannegriger@gmail.com
I'm so sorry to hear about Mickey. I can definately relate as we just lost Ally in May - they're not just pets, they're part of the family. My heart goes out to you with everything you're dealing with right now. My mom always told me "God never gives you more than you can handle" but I'm thinking, he could give you a break - ya know? Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help - laundry, grocery shopping - anything to give you that break. much love to you all - Ginni & Mark
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