All In Good Time

This is how I want to see Nick, oh, let's just say next year around this time; triumphant over this horrible disease. He will be somewhere, anywhere, listening to music, hanging with his sister and his friends, reading his books and finding pleasure in the simple things! I cannot wait to see him in that place and so I will help him fight, scream and kick his way down the ugly, unpaved and pot-hole ridden road that must be traveled to get him there.

Today it was decided that Nick's treatment regimen will begin in earnest on Wednesday. His leukemia has been diagnosed to the doctor's satisfaction and thus our brief respite is almost over. The current plan includes a rigorous combination of chemotherapeutic agents administered orally, intravenously and intrathecally (into the spinal fluid via lumbar puncture).

The courses of chemo are labelled "A" and "B", with each one having specific drugs and varying doses. The plan is to give six "rounds" beginning with A1 and then followed by B1, then A2 and so forth until we reach the end of the six cycles. Each round takes five days to administer all the agents involved, followed by a "recovery phase" of one to three weeks; depending on how quickly Nick can bounce back! He must be in the hospital for the administration of each round of chemo.

However, if he does well after A1, he may be able to come home in between the other cycles. There is no way to know how this will affect Nick as each person is different. So please pray that the chemo gods smile down on him and the adverse effects are minimal.

It is possible that Nick may need a BMT (bone marrow transplant), however, it is too early in the game to determine if that will be an option or if it will be needed. They have a BMT team right at Hopkins and they will be contacting us regarding screening for donors and what is involved in BMT, when the time is right.

Nick had a good day today. He was able to spend some time with his sister today and they had a nice visit. We actually got some reasonable "face time" with two of Nick's doctors. Although, I guess I am supposed to feel intimidated, I don't. I have no problem asking questions and getting answers. The nurses have been wonderful and have been doing an amazing job. Nick has already won over many new hearts here at JHH and I am confident in the care he is receiving.

I am doing my best to stay positive for Nick, as I know this is what he wants. He wants to use all his strength to fight this and he needs all of us to support him in this quest. In closing, I will leave you with something that one of Glenn's friends gave him today...

“The philosophy of waiting is sustained by all the oracles of the universe.” Emerson

I need only to look and see that all things happen in their own time. The resolution of each problem has its own timetable. No amount of wishing, wringing of hands or raging will effect a change. Acceptance is the simple act of going through what is presently facing me, be it pain, anger, despair, hopelessness or their opposites. When life as it really is becomes a fact that I accept as naturally as I breathe, events lose their power to throw me off balance or disturb the basic rhythm of my life.

For today: Acceptance also comes in its own time, and I do not berate myself for not having it on demand.